Thursday, July 10, 2014


Today was a hard day. I contemplated not writing this post because I Dont usually like to show pain, but then I realized everyone goes through pain, and sometimes it's nice to know that another person understands you. So this post is for those who should know... I understand... Not all things of course, but I know pain.

This morning after another hot weather run yesterday I woke up feeling incredibly fatigued. I couldn't seem to get out of bed. I usually wake up anywhere from 7:00-9:00 but today it was 10:00am and I was SO tired. As I got going for the day I noticed I was more fatigued than usual.. But ignored it as I got ready to do my normal workouts of the day. My wonderful sister karacat called me to see if I wanted to go for a run, but something wasn't feeling quite right, and my body just wasn't up to it, so I passed on the run but still planned on my T25 workouts. About 20 minutes later I began to feel dizzy and light headed, and just weak in general and decided I should just not workout at all today.

I started laying on the couch and felt worse so after e mailing my nurse at The Cystic Fibrosis clinic telling her what was going on she told me to go to the closest ER to get evaluated for dehydration..(side note, because of the improper function of the sodium chloride channel, people with CF lose 5x the salt as other people making it hard to stay hydrated.) My best friends Mail and Tracee came to the rescue. Mallory took me to the hospital and Tracee (recovering from dehydration herself *bless her* watched Mallory s little boy.)

About 11:30 we arrived at the hospital and started crying when we got there. I felt so weak, and vulnerable and I get really anxious when I Dont feel good. While they were checking me in it was the weirdest thing, the nurse asked me what medicines I was taking and I usually am able to rattle them off. (All 20 of them or more) but I could NOT remember them. My mind went blank and I was trying so hard , but couldn't concentrate or remember. Luckily in the computer they had a record of them and got it figured out.

When I got back to my room my relief society president and dear friend Shanna arrived along with a few of the men in my ward to give me a priesthood blessing. (A blessing given by two men who are worthy and hold a sacred power called the priesthood, given in times of need for the healing of the sick and comfort.) It was the most beautiful blessing I have ever received.. I won't share the details, but I am so incredibly grateful for the peace that it brought me. My amazing bishop stopped by as well and can I just tell you I have the most incredible people in my life?! All so selfless and supportive. I am eternally grateful for them.

Soon after the Dr came in and decided to get me an IV and start some fluids for dehydration. This is where the fun began... My whole life it has been hard to draw my blood because of the scar tissue built up in my veins from previous procedures, but dehydration elevated that difficulty. After three tries to put in an IV the Dr decided to try my neck. (Bigger veins, better access) ummm.... I was a bit frightened. My mom told me I had had one in my neck before but I was too little to have had any recollection of it. However I breathed through it and it actually didn't hurt bad, BUT... Unfortunately they were unable after two tries to get a neck vain. The Dr then decided to call the "PICC Line team." (People who are highly trained in placing peripheral, PICC, central, and arterial lines.) They have a little bit better equipment as well. Anyways a really nice nurse came and we were finally able to get one placed. Curse you dehydration.. Haha.

Anyhow two bags of fluid later I started to feel better and they let me go home. I stopped by our favorite bakery (Swirly Girls) in Daybreak, because what is better than cookies after the hospital right ?! ;)

When I got home I ate for the first time today. My nice husband brought home some Panda Express and it hit the spot. Then I started feeling really sick again and I was solo frustrated... Sometimes I get really upset when I Dont feel good. I think things like.." The whole reason this happened was because I was trying to run, which helps my lungs, which helps CF. So why is it so hard sometimes?! I broke both femurs two summers ago, and the right femur last year because of running, and sometimes I JUST WANT TO BE "NORMAL"!!!!!) But usually those thoughts, and pity party Dont last long, and I think more of my normal thoughts that consist more of " I wouldn't be who I am without my trials. I wouldn't be able to empathize with others as well. I wouldn't know some of the most amazing doctors, nurses, coworkers, patients, friends, brothers, and cysters if I didn't have CF." Then I remember how everyone has bad days and hard times. That people are going through a lot more than me, and reflected on the blessing I received. As I lay here in my bed feeling less than well I am grateful. Even though it was a tough day I lay in MY home, under my covers, with a loving husband. So its ok... And... Lessen learned... No more heat runs, and water is crucial. So drink up this summer!!!!!!

27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Ether 12:27

Be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle
-A more hydrated Minderella-

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